Thursday, May 21, 2009

Therapy Thursday

First, I will apologize as this post might get long as I start to rant and rave, but I will do my best to keep it short and sweet. I have been having a bit of a hard time thinking of something to actually write for Therapy Thursday as my intent was not to have a b*tchin' session going on each week. So, I figured, I would have my own sense of Therapy and share with you a long journey that I am weight loss journey, so for the time being, Therapy Thursday will be Think Thin Thursday and we'll see if confessing my problems with food each week to, for the most part, strangers will help me along this journey that has seemed to take a permanent detour south. I will try to keep this as witty and fun to read as possible, and I do hope you come along for the ride, for my own selfish reasons, as I think I might actually finally lose the weight if others are waiting for me to do it.

So let's start at the beginning. I have never been the skinny kid - ever, but I wouldn't consider myself obese either (although medically I do fall into that category...ugh! that should be enough). I am tall, and hide the weight well (years of practice), but weight has always been an issue with me. I can remember as a kid being in the locker room before swim team practice and the other girls laughing at how many rolls I had (they weren't skinny minnis either) or the time the older girls up the street were calling my little sister Lovey and I answered and their response was "we said Lovey, not Tubby." I have been on every diet conceivable since I was old enough to remember and it seems that my weight is everyone elses concern, which is why I think I have such a hard time just loosing it...there is a lot of baggage there.

I have been a member of Weight Watchers for 2 years now and was doing rather well, until I fell off the wagon. Recent comments by my children who thought I should go on the Biggest Loser - or my son who said I was pretty but out of shape, have reaffirmed my commitment to this journey. I do have to say that my husband has never said a word about my weight, but did refer to me once as a "larger woman" - yikes. So now, I am taking you all along with me. I am not brave enough to post my current or goal weight (ok, I do have some pride), but I will tell you that I have 45 pounds left to loose. I go to meetings on Saturday morning, but will post on Thursdays as I will be able to update you on how my week is going.

I would love feedback - positive, negative, etc. I am putting this whole journey out there to shame me into finally loosing this weight. I want to be thin, for health reasons, family reasons and frankly vanity reasons - I want to be hot! - but I love food and have a problem controlling myself around it. I have tried loosing for me, my kids, my husband, my parents...but I always go back to my old habits. So now I am going to try opening up my personal pain to strangers and going public to see if being accountable to my readers will make a know what, I think it will, and that is all that matters.

So thank you all for reading - and wish me luck.



Sarah E. said...

I am so proud of you! I am struggling too! Let's do this together! You can do it, I know you can! There is another form of motivation and don't get mad at me because I don't think you need to be on the show, but...The Biggest is doing a pledge right now called pound for pound. For every pound you lose, they will donate a pound of food to a food bank. What an awesome cause in an economy like ours. We can do it! I can't wait to hear your progress enxt week! Love you!

Scrappy said...

Hey Tracy!!!
I wish you tons of luck girl!! I don't know you but have been following your blog for awhile and I will tell you I've been there with the weight loss. I love food too so I understand your struggle there too. You can do it! If I can you can, trust me. Four years ago I did it. I lost 45 pounds as a matter of fact. Actually I like to say I got rid of 45 pounds cuz I sure as heck don't want to find it again! I started out not being able to run to my street corner and now I am running 3 plus miles several times a week. One thing I figured out was that I really firmly believe it has to be a life style change and not a diet because if I had gone back to the way I was eating before I would gain the weight back. Get rid of your negative thoughts (trust me I know easier said then done) but don't let them get you down. My hubby never said anything about my weight either but one day he did called me thick(he didn't even think he was being mean). Isn't it funny all the nice stuff they say you never remember but one comment you can remember forever. Anyway hang in there, keep your chin up and all those other goofy cliches!!! You can do it!!!! ((((HUGS))) and another (hug) for putting yourself out there like this!!!!!


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